boy it’s fun being an armchair theologian

Today I am thankful that when the priest calls us to prayer with “The Lord be with you”, I am still allowed to respond with  “And also with you”.  The Episcopal Church welcomes you…

Today is the first Sunday of the new Roman Missal in the US and on the chance that you’re not a church nerd like me, let me inform you that the changes are not without controversy.  From my facebook status this morning you might infer that I am opposed to liturgical change.  “But wait, don’t you enjoy the Rite II liturgy rolled out in 1978?” I can hear the church nerds ask.  I do not oppose liturgical change; done correctly it can produce changes that can enrich our understandings and experiences of God.  In fact, I’ve got my own laundry list of things I’d love to see changed in our liturgies.  But the new Roman Missal changes don’t meet my criteria for “done correctly”.  Why not?

As one of my beloved professors modified Bill Clinton’s quote, “It’s the language, stupid.”  Vatican II allowed the mass to be said in the vernacular of the people – and “brethren” is not the vernacular of the people, my friends (“brothers and sisters” = peachy).  It’s awkward (“Make holy, therefore, these gifts, we pray…”) to the point of the linguist in me wanting to rend my clothes in mourning.  Awkwardness does nothing to improve our minute understanding of massive holy mysteries which none of us fully comprehend (and if anyone says they do, they’re lying!!).

At times the language is also misleading: “will be shed for you” has now become “which will be poured out for you and for many”.  [Aside: this line also appears in our BCP and I hate it there too.]  For whom did Jesus not die??  Also, I’m sorry, but Jesus surely did not have a “precious chalice”.  Even Indiana Jones got that one right.  I suppose you can connote precious to mean “precious because Jesus used it”, but chalice still connotes “really fancy goblet, likely of a fine metal”.  Given who Jesus dined with, I would be awfully surprised to find out he used anything with a stem for the Last Supper.

I’ve also heard that the language has somewhat left the vernacular in order to differentiate holy language from everyday language.  Okay.  We do use a bunch of special words to talk about church and God and whatnot and I love terms like epiclesis and trisagion.  LOVE THEM!!  In fact, I am reminded of a poem concerning the adoption of Hebrew as the official language of Israel I read years ago for a class; there was a line about the words once used to proclaim God’s goodness now proclaim news of bombs on public buses.  I was hit with profound sadness with the realization that the Hebrew words once used to invite the Sabbath bride are now reordered to tell of great destruction.

I’m divided when it comes to the argument about “holy language” versus “everyday language”.  On one hand, I think the terms that must be learned intentionally are great opportunities for us to delve deeper into our faith.  People who are competent in the social use of language naturally do this thing linguists call code switching: modifying your expression based on your audience.  This could mean a speaker of Black English utilizing this dialect when with other speakers of the same, but using Standard American English at the office.  A teenager cussing a blue streak with friends but not in front of parental units.  A liturgical Christian talking about wearing an alb to fellow liturgical Christians, but calling it a white dress for non-liturgical Christians.  Essentially, knowing your audience.  If you talk about contrite hearts and consubstantial beings, chances are you’re just talking to people already in the know.  So for someone who wants the Gospel spread around like butter on Thanksgiving rolls, this just looks like putting up a barrier to someone encountering God, which I am pretty sure is not what Jesus told us to do.

I think our liturgy should cause us to ask questions and ponder the mysteries, and the Roman Catholic church has a wonderful opportunity to do that here.  Unfortunately for its members, this came from the higher-ups (not formed from the people as was our 1978 revision) and when asking questions and pondering the mysteries, there is only one right answer, which happens to be the one approved by the Magisterium.  It’s got to be hard to take the fences down and let your sheep graze freely, but being a dissident sheep has taught me much about my faith and has only strengthened me.

Also: Happy New Year’s!

Listening to: running toilet and neighbor’s too-loud tv

trying to keep a lid on the f-bombs

Mentoring a confirmand is a challenge.  Mentoring your spiritual guide/buddy’s kid but not being able to consult with the person you normally would is really bleeping challenging.

In all reality I’m not actually barred from sharing our conversations with the parents, but I choose to keep confidentiality for the young person’s sake — this is the time to ask questions, get angry, and explore without fear of getting the stink eye over dinner.  And is why I won’t actually discuss our discussions here… ’cause it’s a small Episcopal world.  But I’m not ruling out the idea of asking for the anonymous wisdom of the masses given appropriate levels of obscurity and vagueness.

Listening to: water fountain/kitty water bowl

what did i just get myself into?

About where I’ve been and where I am now…

I wound up leaving my job working with deaf kids and I now work with the geriatric population.  It wasn’t a move I wanted to make, but it’s been the right move so far: I can actually afford proper housing and the “basic extras” including a modern tv that you can actually read the news ticker on, in-home internet instead of perma-borrowing wifi from the big box across the street, and an iPhone (yes, I broke down and got an iPhone!).  Also: I can afford to get rid of some of the debt plaguing me and hindering the path to seminary.

That’s that, but today was All Saints Sunday.  All Saints Sunday in my parish means baptisms!  Lots of baptisms!  I don’t know about you, but the Baptismal Covenant gets me every. single. time.  I flash back to the time I said those words in front of the bishop and the times I have said those words in support of my brothers and sisters.

This year I was asked to be a confirmation sponsor for one of our youth.  I was (and still am) totally stoked to share the things I love about my faith with another, but this weekend made me realize I have one hell of a challenge on my hands.  You see, this youth is attending confirmation class by force.  I am grateful that our parish has realized it’s not productive to confirm those who do not want to be confirmed, so my goal need not be “get the kid to only somewhat begrudgingly accept of the laying on of hands” but “guide the kid in finding a healthy and appropriate expression of faith”.

Judging from our conversation yesterday, I think I’m going to have quite a bit of faith growing to do also.  I know what it’s like to be raised in a tradition ill-suited to who you are and to suffer the effects of that, but somehow I have to reach back to how I got to the other side — where I found a tradition well-suited to who I am, where I can find God.  Suffice it to say, Imma have to get creative.

Listening to: The Amazing Race

whose table is it anyway?

This past weekend I made visits to a couple Roman Catholic churches, both very different.  The cathedral had explicit rules on how to dress (Jesus doesn’t like seeing your shoulders), behave (NO GUM), and receive Jesus (unless you’re Roman Catholic, don’t attempt it).  It was sparse with visitors although Mass would begin shortly.  The smaller parish was a come-as-you-are place and it was packed to the gills.  Standing room only with people who have gathered for the presence of God on the feast of Corpus Christi.

I’ve always taken offense to the “non-Roman Catholics prohibited” policy at RC masses for a variety of reasons.  Inviting to Mass but not communion has always seemed a bit like inviting someone to dinner, but not to the meal.  Rude.  Inhospitable.  Far from what I imagine Jesus would desire.

Barring non-Catholics from the Eucharist based on belief in the Real Presence holds no water with me as I believe in the Real Presence.  You say it’s the Body of Christ?  Me too.  Don’t keep me away from the God who calls me with that lame-o line.

You have to go to confession before you receive Jesus?  I go to sacramental confession more often than most RCs (once a year) and we have weekly corporate confession (except in Easter because we all know you don’t sin in Easter).  Sins: absolved.  Give it up.

But this weekend I got a new reason: whose table is it?  Who is the true host who invites us to the table?  We all come to the table together, but if a guest says another guest may not partake, does the guest still receive?  Any host with any smidge of hospitality will assure the guest of their welcome at the table.

So really, who is the true host of the Eucharist?  The Host of course.  The one who says “Take this all of you and eat it, this is my body, which will be given up for you.”  The Bishop of Rome nor any other human is not the host of the table; instead, Jesus is the host who calls people to himself.  Even when an unjust rule to deny communion is in practice.

So I got me some Jesus from the Roman Catholics and it was lovely.  I can say that day I felt truly called to receive God, just as I was called to receive God one day several years ago in a United Methodist church that invites all who seek God to receive.

Listening to: Mass of the Angels and Saints: Eucharistic Prayer

habemus pictura

Yup.

i stoled it

It’s probably a really good thing I’m not more into $ex, dr^gs, & rock-and-or-roll.  Thank God for the church, because my addictive personality has found another vice – although I have pondered is it really a vice if it’s for church?

Stole making.

Stole number one is finished and gifted to a soon-to-be-deacon because I just couldn’t wait until her ordination later this week.  Green silk with white orphreys bearing a gold chi-rho on each leg.  Number two (which will look similar) was requested before number one was even finished and sighted by the other clergy.  Unfortunately, I didn’t get any pictures of the first stole before I sent it off to its new home – I boxed it up and stashed it in the car to reduce some of the temptation to take it out of the box and ogle it.  And then I didn’t take my crappy camera to church when I gifted it.  Perhaps once ordinary time hits and the stole can be used as more than eye candy, I can sneak a pic.

So if anyone with intermediate sewing skills has any desire to make a beautiful and only initially mildly spendy ($45) gift of appreciation/whatever for a clergy person, hie thyself over to churchlinens.com and start with a priest or new deacon’s stole kit.  You’ll get a pattern and wonderful instructions for constructing stoles, as well as a practice piece.  I went with the new deacon’s stole which is not mitered at the hip, but is instead half-knotted at the hip like in the good ol’ days when stoles were stoles – I found that it also makes a great priest stole pattern in case your priest gets semi-jealous.

I couldn’t keep myself out of the fabric store today (what else is a lady to do on “summer” break?) so I got supplies for stoles number two and three for a total of $30.  The orphreys and interfacings are ready to go, I just need the face and lining fabrics to dry so I can cut pieces.  Perhaps if I use my laser beam eyes it will speed the process.  Actually, I bet if I hung it outside tomorrow in this nearly 70% humidity it would dry pretty quickly.

Listening to: kitty who wants the human to go to bed already

anglican rosary

I’m working on appreciating the Anglican rosary.  I’ve had a set of beads for a while now but I’ve liked the traditional form more, so the beads have been proudly displayed on my rearview mirror almost since I got them.  After Easter Vigil I received another set, absolutely beautiful and I’m pretty sure it was the giver’s personal set… which means I need to learn to appreciate this style of prayer beads more fully.

I’m not trying to adapt a regular rosary to the Anglican beads since I have one of those when I want to pray the rosary or the chaplet of divine mercy (in song!); rather, I’m going to try and find something that works more for the beads as they are.  This is what I tried tonight and I was cool with the result, but I will keep experimenting.  Oh the wonder of via media practice!

Cross: In the name of God: Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.  Amen.

Invitatory Bead(s): O Lord make speed to save us, O Lord make haste to help us.  Glory to the Father and to the Son and to the Holy Spirit: As it was in the beginning, is now, and will be forever.  Amen.

Cruciforms: Holy God, Holy Mighty One, Holy Immortal One: Have mercy on us and on the whole world.

Weeks:

1. Lamb of God, who takes away the sin of the world, have mercy on us.
2. Lamb of God, who takes away the sin of the world, have mercy on us.
3. Lamb of God, who takes away the sin of the world, grant us your peace.
4. My flesh is food indeed and my blood is drink indeed, says the Lord.
5. Lamb of God, who takes away the sin of the world, have mercy on us.
6. Lamb of God, who takes away the sin of the world, have mercy on us.
7. Lamb of God, who takes away the sin of the world, grant us your peace.

Invitatory Beads (on the way out): Our Father

Cross: Let us bless the Lord.  Thanks be to God. [Alleluia, alleluia!]

I am one of those people who says “why say it when you can sing it?” (especially if nobody is around to hear…), so I picked mostly singable stuff that fits.  I suppose if you said the Agnus Dei it might seem less unwieldy and more appropriate to say per bead instead of phrase per bead… with one leftover… so I put in what we had been using as our fraction anthem during Lent.  I may try it sometime with a Kyrie.

remember when?

Remember those days I said were so awful that a shower just wasn’t enough, it was more like a day that required a haircut? Well, here’s to hoping donating about 16 inches of hair for kids with hair loss does something to offset the shits let off in the sacristy yesterday (I’m concerned liquid paraffin is going to send the entire altar guild to hell). If not, I have finished a couple more cat mats for the local humane society shelter and am working on another despite feeling like I’m knitting a clown (really ugly yarn, but of course a sleepy kitten will make it look cute!).

Back to the hair, it is below my ears and highlighted. All clergy heartily approves and I’m told the blonde highlights looked gorgeous as I was distributing palms in the courtyard sun. I wasn’t worried about it, but now that you mention it…

Listening to: dishwasher and lame-o Sunday night sports show

a fish swims into a cement wall

When I checked my phone after work, I had a message asking if I would thurifer for the early service on Sunday.  Did you have to ask – YES!

I should probably think things out a little more often.  I may have signed myself up for a turn at thurifer and a turn at chalice for the late service, which means I also signed myself up for standing for the entire passion narrative.  Twice.  Go, me.

Listening to: Mass of the Angels and Saints: God Has Put the Angels in Charge of You, Steven Janco

confirmation, almost a year later

Today was the annual bishop’s visit, which means we were treated to a bunch of confirmations as well as the Lazarus rising gospel (additionally, the second-longest gospel passage in the history of the RCL).  The sermon centered on resurrection, a theme of the gospel as well as confirmation.  And this is where I must note that forgetting to bring tissues on the day of episcopal visitation ranks as one of my worst ideas.  I took an entire box last year and didn’t use them because I was too afraid I would throw up.  This year, the hot messery started during the homily.

The idea I took away from the sermon was that if Jesus could raise his super-duper dead friend (How dead was he??…) from the dead, then Jesus can raise us from the dead as well.  That may not resonate as deeply with others, but yesterday was my day to go to confession, chief sin on the list being my lack of action on the ordination front thanks to the fear/difficulty trusting factors.  If Jesus can resurrect Lazarus in bodily form, then can I be resurrected in mental form?  Yes.  I have been resurrected, I am being resurrected, and I will be resurrected.  And now I need the tissues again.

I didn’t get to chat with the bishop today, which might not be all bad though not all good, but I did get more encouragement from one of our postulants to send in my paperwork (the big goal of Lent, which has almost passed) so I can have my Official Chat with the bishop.  Also, I did leave him with communion wafer cupcakes!

Listening to: the kitty water fountain